Exam ends..

Well...my exams end on 1/10/2009 at 11am...
But,I din feel happy at all...I feel so sad n goshhh..i cried alone in my room when I reached my room at the 1st moment....I feel so down....
I done badly for the section B .....really sad....
Today paper:section A:quite tough....section B:is easy actually...
But,I din use my time wisely....I spent too much of my time in section A...damn it..In the end,Im suffering frm "not enough time"disease for section B....
I should do section B first actually..but Im too stubborn..I thought I could finish section A on time....[FCUK!]sry for vulgar-ing

How to express my feeling right now?Hope my paper all can pass...especially PBM N PPE...
I'm lazy to go back home due I had to bring a lot of clothes back ..

sad sad sad!!!1

Exam..

All students in MMU seems 2 be busying study..preparing for the coming examination...included me...Today I went to library with my brother....He fetch me went for my lunch then we went to MMU library to study....I spent quite a long time in library....crowded....
Thanks to brother for teaching me as I know he is also not enough time to study his own subject..as he is delta student....hoho...[profesional course,bro]

At night...three of us..me,bro n sara..we went for dinner....I ate ayam ponteh...quite nice but I dont get used to it smell...haha...then sara went to her guitar class...bro went back his hse and get a shower...so do I went back to EP...

When I reach my room...as usual..I'll sign in my msn...then...somethgs happen starts at this moments...when i saw the personal msg post by the one i love....I'm angry...but dont know y....when i headed 2 library to continue my studies....the personal msg seems like floating in my brain....My mood change suddenly....I'm sad...I feel so tired....Question seems doesnt ended appearing in my brain...
Why doesnt u think the other way about me?What do you take me as?Dont u care for my feeling?Do you love me at this moment?I knew that I cant continue doing my past year accounting paper ..so I change my subject...I do notes abt economy....
I received a msg frm someone...that really touched my heart....Tears is going to roll down my cheeks!!BUT,I din...its just a simple sentence but its really enough for me at this moment....
XX:why sad?
me:I dunno...exam coming..ppl that I care doesnt knew well abt me...
XX:then dun think abt it,k.
me:k..i knew it...I'm tired...
XX:then go sleep la..silly...
me:[smiling..]yea..I knew..but I have to study...exam is around the corner..
XX:but u have to rest also...ok?
Me:ok...I knew it...
XX:k..tats de girl I dote...tonight sleep early ok...dun be playful with me again..
me:erm..thx...

see...jz a simple conversation..but it is enough to made me smile..what i want isnt that complicated....do u understand?I love you,I always love as I really do...I knew sometime I might be too stubborn...but..pls forgive me...

And now..no smilling on my face...Im tired..Im down...can u talk nicely to me plz?

电话坏了！！！

真的很生气咯！电话在不适当的时候竟然坏了！！
walaoooo!!!超pekcek咯！！！
我妈妈竟然和我说：我不知道，你自己搞定！妈的！
竟然跟我讲这种话！

还有，请你不要太over!
我已经道歉了，你还想怎样????

isssh isssh.....

can somebody bring me out?
I am damn fucking down now...no mood no mood....
Lately I found that I've changed....u r busying v ur exam...
我开始习惯没有你的日子。。我学坏了。。。
I started to hang out v frens till early morning...chatting nonsense....
I started 2 sleep late...
I started to let me heart cry in de middle of night....
I started to let u went out of my heart....
I started to flirt v my frens..[kidding~]
I started to like someone else....SERIOUSLY...
我开始感觉不到你对我的爱。。
我开始感觉不到你对我的关心。。。
我开始感觉不到你对我的在乎。。
我开始改变我自己了。。。

现在一点开心的心情也没有。。。
很简单。。我问了一句很简单的问题。。
“did u miss me?"
答案：'duno la,my tax gone case ady'
嗯。。你很厉害。。就这样打败了我这几天对你的思念..

我开始喜欢别人了吗？
是真的吗？我要开心。。。就只要被关心被疼。。
一切一切没有了!很好。。
mr tan,i thought u will always be beside me..but the truth is,NO!

我不开心。。。
姐妹们，兄弟们，晚上喝茶吧。。听我唠叨～

爱我多一点。。

刚才在朋友msn的pm看到她写的；当你付出却得不到你要的，是值得的。。
我想了很久。。可是我还是不明白这个道理。。。也许，当我们想要任何样东西不管在学业，事业，感情，亲情。。我们都必需做出一些付出。。。这几天我也不知道我在忙什么。。妈咪星期五载师父回麻坡。。。
星期五下午，我只和他谈了短短几分钟的话。。。然后他就没再找我了。。。
刚开始，我觉得他要面对考试所以不够时间读书所以我也没找他。。就让他专心的读书面对星期六的考试。。。
可是呢。。星期六的时候我突然想起，原来我根本不知道他几点考试。。。还有让我很不开心的就是，我发觉每当我问他几号考试和几点考试的时候，他都会找借口不回答我的问题。。。为什么要这样呢？很老实的说，这次和好，我对你的确失去了我对你以往的信任。。。为什么会这样呢？我总觉得你对我不老实。。这样在一起到底是为了什么？这样到底对我来说到底是什么意思？星期日，我以为你睡醒后会打给我。。结果呢。。我还是等没有。。。。你就这样。。。。到了下午四点多。。。舅舅和妈妈一起载我会宿舍。。。在路上你打给我了。。。可是呢，你却因为觉得吵而生气。。这是什么意思？难道这样也是你不理我对我冷淡的原因吗？
今天星期一了。。。你还是一样。。。总让我等不到你的电话。。。我打给你，你也不接。。。
有时候觉得，我这样打给你，而你都不接的时候，我真的很想放弃。。
这次在一起我真的觉得很辛苦。。。。我每次都找不到你。。。。
我只能等你心情好或突然想起我的时候才能等到你找我。。。。

难道我在你心里就是那么不重要吗？
还是你还是想和你喜欢三不五时的女生这样的‘暧昧’？？
请你告诉我，如果我对你来说已不重要了。。。
那我们就不要在一起了。。。
我要的是你的关心。。。我要我开心。。。而不是每次打给你又不接的那种坏心情。。。
你到底明白我吗？
当我付出却得不到我要的，是值得的，我付出了吗？嗯，我付出了。。我得到了吗？嗯，我没得到任何我要的。。
值得的吗？我不觉得。。我很伤心，我真的很伤心。。。。

I wont n never hope this happen on me..

Forgetten when I had tis kind of bad dreams...hermm...
Just remember when I watch my movie on de half way....><"
well,my dreams goes by this...
Someday when I had my sleep...I dream of somethgs tat made me cry like hell..
stop guessing reader...this time is not abt my relationship matter...
this time is my family matter...U noe?
I dream of my mummy..my lovely mum...
I dream of tat she passed away...[touch wood 1000000000X]
shhssss.....In my dreams,I really cry like hell...non stop...
my mum had awz become my only one since I became matured and get to understand
wat the hell is happening btw she n my "super duper medicine" dad.....
So,in my hearts,my mums n my family members will awaz become de 1st ....
Seriously,I never ever want my mum...u Noe?I dun wan...haizzzz...
PPl say when we dream of somethgs bad jz talk out n let ppl noe den wat we dream of wun happen in reality...I hope so^^
Mummy n grandma..I wanna u awaz stay v me ya..I love u all...

Now going to my relatioship...
wat suppose to write?hmmm....21 August 2009 was my hubby bday.....
BUT,i cant celebrate v him as now im in MMU,Melaka...n he's in TARC,Penang...
so...hmmm...wish u happy delated birthday darling...I love u so much ^^
sincerely..I hope tat tis time tis relationship will last forever as I reali dislike 2 start a new relatioship v other guys again...Not tat Im saying tat other guys is bad..Is ar....I started lazy let ppl understood me...tis need quite a long period to get known each other ya...
And now tis relationship im having is quite tough actually....since my hubby is ar...hahahaha....
I trust u my dear,so dun let me dissapointed ya....

currently blogging at my hostel..waiting my frens 2 deal his fees at Uni's office....
hmmm...im cuming bec ..my little sweetie is waiting 4 me..hoho...
vivian sia...wait jie jie ya...

haha...updated blog~

刚刚I've view我的朋友的blog...hmmmm...
Her sis 结婚了。。。看到她的晚装好美哦。。。。its really beautiful..hohoho。。especiallu de one she wear when she is entering de dinner hall n de yellow suit...哈哈。。。damn nice..i like it...hohoho...
wish her sister新婚快乐～eventhough i dunno her sis..hahaha....

然后呢。。。这星期我没回hometown..理由？我懒得，我要和朋友去走走，我也做assg...haha..
结果，I ended up blogging...hahaha...I din even download my assg ques yet but I ady settle de economics ques 2 n 3 answ hoh....hahaha....

I'm going 2 start my slimming plan as fast as possible when i get de thgs...hohoho....
coming to mmu not even one sems...n i gain my weight!!!oh gosh!!!!terrible!!horrible!!When i see de needle going over the weight i suppose to,I faint..haha ...how cum?diet,diet,diet..DIET had never leave me since i graduate frm form 5...muahahahahahaha......
My hubby is complaining all de time abt my weight...aiks...I'm sorry lo^^
Now i noe my 'problem serious level'sounds weird?my eng is poor...hahaha..diet ar...
排骨精，u faster come la...I'm seriously waiting 4 u now....hahahahahhaa....

well,abt de post tat i written last 2nd n 1 post,seriously,i'm damn tired quarreling n hating some1...if u think tat i apologize will let u feel better..den i say...I'M SORRY~
such a foolish act at tis age stil quarrel like a child....hahah....[mummy,u noe wat i mean rite?]
haha....

final coming lo....mummy jz check for me....
gosh....i knew i cant let myself rest 4 de 4 days.....
28/9 English morning session
29/9 Accounting morning session
30/9 Business Maths morning session
1/9 Econs... morning session....

huh....wat a sweat timetable~
reminder:pls pay fees be 28/8 ya....mmu frens~

oohhhh...I duno wat 2 write next..stop here....

lingshuang03